ACT AND LISTEN || Black and White CA ||

The most important advice that is given to anyone caught up in their interpersonal conflicts is to communicate. While a lot has been said about what to say and how, it is easy to miss out what can be done with much lesser effort - Proper Listening. Listening, not just hearing, helps build trust and confidence. Keep the following in mind when some tell you about something -

Listen to understand the purpose of your conversation

Has the speaker approached you to seeking solution for their problems? Or are they simply looking for someone to whom they can share their pain with without any judgment? Listen to know what the other one wants from you and save yourself from misunderstanding.

Avoid Distraction

Noticing someone not paying attention while we are speaking is definitely not a pleasant feeling. Avoid checking your phone, and maintain eye contact while someone talks to you.

Summarize what they say

Summarize what your speaker just said before you give your input. The phrase “okay , you are trying to say “ gives the confidence to your speaker that you have been paying attention to them as well as helps you be clear about what was just said.

Hold the temptation to interfere

Everyone loves expressing their opinions and ideas. While hearing what your speaker has to say, processing their words in your mind and attaching a meaning to it , it might get very difficult resist the temptation to interrupt your speaker and tell them what just popped up in your mind. Wait for your turn to express your opinions and ideas.

Ask them questions

Avoid attaching your own meaning to what is been told to you unless you have understood the message well. This could lead to unnecessary conflicts. Before you speak about how you see things that have been told to you, summarize (as given in point 3) and ask them further questions to understand where they stand.

How relevant or appropriate is our response is a test of how effective are we as listeners, and not surprising, we quite often find ourselves failing at it. To further what was put forward in point 1, we quite often fail to understand what is expected from this conversation. When one comes to us seeking advice, we downplay their dilemma or we delve into our own tales of similar experience. When someone approaches us to simply let out their emotions, we end up redefining their problems and giving them unsolicited advices. A lot of unnecessary conflict, mistrust and distance could be simply avoided, only if we could just listen.

By CHERISHA ALPESH PATEL
CA Student
At Skill-Set & Will-Set to be A Chartered Accounant
Students Skills Enrichment Board (ICAI)